Maybe we should write a parenting book...

but I am sure that no one would agree or read it!

I remember when Damon and I started dating. I am pretty sure that we knew within a week we would end up married. Not to sound unromantic, it wasn't fireworks or love at first sight. It was because he was a little odd, so was I, and we made sense to each other. We talked about everything. So for the last 21 years Damon and I have been talking about what kind of parents we would like to be. I would love to say that we have it figured out and that it is a fine art now so any of you who would like to follow our blogs and become perfect parents just like us, here you go!

It just doesn't work that way.

There seem to be a lot of parenting ideas and methods that are constantly circulating. I remember when a good friend of mine took me to the Washington Center and we watched a parenting class by Barbra Coloroso. She gave some wonderful advice, which I will try to remember accurately. She said that whenever we listened to parenting advice or marriage advice we should pull out what we thought fit and throw out the rest. To me that meant don't take anyone's advice as truth, think about it, and pray about it. Take what you need, and know is true, and throw out the rest.

I listen to a lot of parenting theories. I take a piece and leave the rest.

Here is what I believe-

Smile, praise, love often. Send them to kindergarten knowing they are the most brilliant, most beautiful, most talented in the world. Teach them that they are children of God and they have infinite potential. Then they go into the world that will constantly tell them that they are not the most beautiful, the most talented, or the most brilliant, remind them they are a child of God and they have infinite potential.

You can discipline in a loving patient way that will not "break" your children.

Teach respect and responsibility. Yes I think, those go hand in hand. You love those you serve. Working is crucial to the development of our children. It teaches them to serve their families. Respect comes from that love. I teach my daughters they are mothers in training. From the time they are born I teach them to serve their family selflessly, love them unconditionally, without expectation of reward.

I teach my children to be obedient. I know that there is some controversy about that. I think there is so much happiness that comes from living within the boundaries of the law and living the laws of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Besides if you can do those things, I am pretty sure that you will get along with your parents flawlessly.

Everything you do has consequences. Making good choices brings positive consequences. Making poor choices makes negative consequences. Teaching children about consequences of age appropriate choices teaches self discipline and responsibility. It also gives a child self esteem to know they can make age appropriate choices well. I feel sadness that so many people have to learn these things as adults, young adults, teenagers, eight year olds, it is so much easier at 2.

It is okay to tell your children "It is not okay to talk to me that way." "It is not okay to treat me that way" I remember once I had said something comparable to a child in front of an adult, she told me that my two year old had no idea what I was talking about. I was surprised. I wondered how my child would break the habit of speaking or acting unkindly if I let the habit develop. Four children later, I can proudly say, they do get it! Of course I have the most brilliant children in the world (see parenting tip number 1).

If all of these things are taught in a loving, forgiving, kind atmosphere, if no matter what parenting style we choose, it will turn out okay. (Thankfully children have an infinite capacity to forgive and I am learning.)

I reserve the right to edit this list anytime I realize that I am wrong. Especially since this last parenting tip is not fully tested.


By the way, when I have this parenting thing perfect, I will let you know. Then you can follow my blog!